Women in Hardcore (2): Kelly of xSisterhoodx

First of all would you please introduce yourself?

My name is Kelly Leonard, formally Kelly Brother. For the past 12 years or so I have been running xsisterhoodx.com. I am a mother, wife, marketing professional, graphic/web designer, radio dj, and straight edge kid at heart.

How did you get into Hardcore and Straight Edge?*

I grew up in New York about an hour south of Albany. During the mid-nineties, thanks to bands like Earth Crisis and One King Down, the straight edge hardcore scene was intense. At the time (fall of 95) I was in high school, and was dating a drummer in a prog rock band. About a year into our relationship he was invited to join a local hardcore band. The singer of that band, John, was straight edge. He introduced me to the straight edge and hardcore scenes. He made me a series of mix tapes, some of which I still have today, which really inspired me. Since I was only 14-15 years old at the time, and could not drive, he would pick me up and take me to shows all over the tri-state area.

There were tons of zines and the energy within the scene was amazing. It didn’t take long for me to adopt the label. It just made sense. At the time my friends and I had already started to experiment with alcohol, but I didn’t like it. I didn’t get it. Straight edge I got. I never felt like I was changing to fit into the straight edge label, rather that the label just was an easy way to describe my lifestyle.

What was the idea behind founding XsisterhoodX?*

Honestly, xsisterhoodx was not my idea. In 1996, at least where I lived, very few girls went to shows, and even fewer were straight edge. I was lonely. The internet, though not nearly as robust as it is today, was my only way to meet other girls who were like me. I searched and searched, and finally came across xsisterhoodx. At the time it was a discussion list. You would sign up with your e-mail and every day you would get half a dozen or so messages from other girls from around the world discussing scene-related issues. There was also a small web page with some basic profiles and poetry. Not long after I joined the list the girl who was running it put out a message saying that she was retiring, and wanted to know if anyone wanted to take over. So I raised my hand and took over the website while another girl took over the discussion list. I’m not sure what happened to the discussion list, but I have worked really hard to make the website what it is today.

In how far would you see your page as traditionally feminist? (What ever that means)

If you were to look up the text book definition of what feminism is, then yes, xsisterhoodx is a feminist website. We strive for social equality of the sexes and are an organization focused on women’s issues. Whenever asked a question like this or similar I find myself hesitating because of the negative connotations associated with feminism. In so many people’s minds feminism conjures up images of man hating bullish women, who exercise questionable hygiene and won’t let a man open a door for them.

I’ve always envisioned xsisterhoodx as a safe place. I think most girls in the scene, have experienced some form of sexism be it in real life, or more likely on the internet. On xsisterhoodx.com a girl can have an opinion and not be ridiculed because of her sex. But that doesn’t mean that the members of the site agree with everything everyone has to say just because they are girls. We have our share of disagreements, but we really strive to respect one another.

The slogan of XsisterhoodX is “know your role”, so what would you say is the role of women in hardcore? Is the role forced on them?

I don’t think that there is one role that women should fill in the hardcore scene. The slogan “know your role” really just means know who you are, and what you are about and don’t compromise who you are or what you believe in. We all take on so many different roles in life. Some girls go to shows just to see the bands and stand in the back., some go and dance, and some never even go to shows, and just listen to the music. Hell, since the birth of my daughter I haven’t been to a show. Does that mean that I never will go again? Or that I am no longer into hardcore? No, it just means my role in life has changed and I’ve had to adapt.

I don’t feel that anyone role is forced on women in the hardcore scene. The roles we take on are based on complex factors peripheral to the scene. However, I would love to see girls taking on more up-front roles in the scene, like starting bands, zines, radio shows, production companies, recording studios, etc.

Which prejudices do women have to face, when being in the hardcore scene, coming to shows etc…?

I think the prejudices, if any, that girls face can really vary based on where they live. Some scenes are really accepting and laid back while others are more aggressive and unforgiving. I hear stories from both ends of the spectrum from members of xsisterhoodx.

However, one constant, where girls are often treated like objects and second class citizens is the internet. Message boards are havens for cowards and “group-think” runs rampant. On some boards if a girl posts she should expect to be ridiculed, and if she stands up for herself she will be ostracised even more. Girls are often treated as sexual objects rather than people. It’s frustrating, and disheartening. All too often girls are told well this is the hardcore scene if you don’t like it, get out.

In my experience I’ve always had to prove myself. When I first started doing my radio show in 2002 I would have callers that would ask me who was picking out my music. Some would quiz me on my “hardcore” knowledge, asking me questions about bands, albums, and line ups. I could never figure out why it was so hard for some of those guys to just accept the fact that a female could like the same type of music as them.

Unfortunately, I’ve known guys who would purposely target girls at hardcore shows for no other reason other than that they were girls. It’s really sad.

Would you say that hardcore is a way for girls to protest against the beauty ideals of the society?*

When I was growing up I used to think the hardcore scene was a haven from the rest of the world. I believed that kids were more down to earth, and in tune with politics and progressive thinking. I saw the scene as a place were you could come as you were and you could be safe from judgement. Kids would get together from all over the place for a good time. There were tables that lined the walls with zines about everything from music to animal liberation and anti-racist action. At the time I really felt like the hardcore scene was a family. The few girls that did go to shows were tomboyish, some even could be mistaken for a guy from a distance. If you were to ask me your question when I was fifteen my answer would have been yes. At that time in my life hardcore meant a lot of things. I really felt it was something special.

I don’t know if is because I am older, or if it’s that the scene has changed. But, I would have to say the same basic beauty ideals apply to the hardcore as they do to society as a whole. I see more and more emphasis placed on looking “scene” or fitting into a cookie cutter role. And it’s not just the girls who are feeling the pressure to conform. Maybe it’s a backlash effect from how masculine and tough hardcore has been for so long, but the androgynous look has really taken hold.